Overwhelmed, not by prostate cancer, but by the many who have expressed their concern for Nancy and me during the time we dealt with my prostate cancer. We have received messages from people around the world who are praying for us and encouraging us along the path of life. During this time I have heard from high school and college friends many with whom I have had recent contact through facebook. Those with whom we have made friends over the years have also graciously sent words of encouragement as well as expressing their remembrance of us in prayer. Acquaintance in other countries also gave us encouragement. Others fellow travels along the rode of prostate and other cancers gave their insights into their journey. Many have expressed our mutual bond in Christ that brings us together as we encourage one another to remain faithful to the call of Christ in our lives.
Facing the reality of prostate cancer has been a challenge. Prostate cancer grows very slowly without any initial effect on ones body. The bad effects from prostate cancer come as the cancer spreads outside the prostate. My cancer thankfully was confined to the prostate and gave no evidence of spreading. As a result my cancer showed no symptoms to remind me of my condition. My only reminder was couple of pieces of paper indicating a positive for cancer biopsy. So since I felt healthy it was difficult thinking I had cancer. Now after the surgery, I have no question in my mind that something happened in my body. With the pain of recovery and the attached tether (catheter), I now have vivid memories of my cancer. My prostate cancer was moderately aggressive (Gleason 7) but no evidence of spread. If I had waited for surgery a few years down the road the cancer very likely could have spread. Presently I wait for my body to heal and the function to return to normal. I am now cancer free. At the moment I have good energy. A few weeks from now I will be back to full activity with only minimal side effects from the operation. I anticipate for the rest of my life to be free from the effects of the cancer. End stage prostate cancer has the potential of precipitating deep excoriating bone pain. I am grateful to the doctors who encouraged me to test my PSA, scheduled me for the biopsies and used their skilled hands to man the robot to remove my prostate where the cancer was contained. May I encourage men to have their PSA followed and submit to biopsy if necessary. Short-term misery can terminate long-term chronic pain.
Through all the steps Nancy, my beloved wife has stood with me. Her encouragement has been phenomenal. Her ability to anticipate my needs and respond to them with loving kindness is deeply appreciated. During our visit with the doctors she stood by me asking question that I would not have anticipated having answers that would impact my care to a significant degree. She sat at the hospital waiting for the surgery to be accomplished and spent a sleepless night watching over me in my post surgery state. The morning I collapsed on the floor with unceasing abdominal muscled spasms she calmly called the ambulance and got thing ready for me to have in case I needed them. I truly do not deserve her gentle touch and loving care. She is teaching me that I must realize I am a dependent person. I am dependent upon her. I am dependent upon my children who offer words of encouragement. I am dependent upon those who have ministered to us during this time. I am desperately dependent upon God’s grace and mercy towards me. I rejoice that such loving people surround me. May this experience help me develop tenderness towards other people!
My mind’s journey has been interesting. Looking back from the time the biopsies were scheduled until after the final removal of the catheter, I now realize the gravity of my status weighed on my mind more than I admitted. Apparently my ability as a physician to view pathology from a clinical perspective did not take into account my emotional state. My pride leads me to think that I can adjust to things as the situation dictates. With surgery as the defining step in ridding me of cancer I began to feel more relaxed indicating that my pre-surgery status and state of mind showed some anxiety. Since my cancer was a small cancer I choose not to be real concerned. I slept well in the night, which indicated to me my good frame of mind. My recovery pace is beyond my expectations. I am much more relaxed and my energy level has increased, apparently due the fact I am now declared cancer free. I like to think that I have placed my confidence in Christ. He is the one who has allowed the cancer to come to my life to give me insight into what others with similar circumstance endure. Intensity in my journey thus far is minimal compared to many. I am grateful that through the years many people have taught and shown me what it means to be given life in Christ. Through my journey I know that I am held by God’s hand and He will accomplish His purposes in His way. Right now my heart is filled with gratitude to the people who have and are helping me and to Christ for delivering me from the bondage of my depraved heart.
Originally written July 22, 2011
